we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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