I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
