Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just puked most of my soul out..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
