Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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