Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
