how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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