our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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