She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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