I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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