Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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