made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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