Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
