we have pet lesbian snakes
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
