My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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