what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
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