Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
