My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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