you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
