Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize