i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
