Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
