eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
