dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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