He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize