Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
