guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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