why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
