so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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