But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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