ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
