I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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