WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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