Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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