Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
