are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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