I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His nipple licking is glorious
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