he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
