can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
