I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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