If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
