This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
