I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
