What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
