that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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