I don't think brook has ever known best
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize