There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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