Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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