kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
