I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
