she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
