I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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