That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize