I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
