Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
