I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
