Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
