Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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