This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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