TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
