i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
