im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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