Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
