i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
