Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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