bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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