You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
is it fun? or sober?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
