Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
