Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
